Priyam told she is in depression and i just want her to get out of it! She is my warrior queen and i dont wanna lose her! And she does not smile anymore the way she used to! She has lost so much weight! God! Just get her out of it! It hurts to see her like that!

Gai kale harsh ne puchelu main ke tu koni jode vaat karto jyare mane khabar hati that e eni didi jodej vaat karto hashe and i am not insecure or doubt him but bas janvu hatu! Shu farak padat khabar nathi and aaje jyaare ene kidhu toh kai farak pan na padyo! But ene kidhu uncle jode ene jhaghdo thayo che and he threw away his sandwich and stormed out of house! Bani shake eni koi moti insecurity par bolya hashe

But bau kidhu pan e kashu bolyo j nai and evu kai didhu mane ke important nathi and main jyaare kidhu hu wait karish karanke tu malish tyare keh che toh he was like mane nathi lagtu jaruri and nai kehvu hoy toh naij kau or something on the lines of it! And he knows hu raah joya karish and ene puchya karish bhav khavdaya karish! And he can do that to me bcoz pehla pan maru puchvu meant nothing! I get it aunty jode vaat karine he feels good now but maru shu? Shu mane e kai deshe toh hu ene samjhish nai! Maybe etlej nai kehto hoy bcoz hu samajhti nathi i guess!

Or maybe hu must be protecting me or idk je hashe e but mari jode na share karvanu reason e ej aape che ke eni paase time nathi and ene bhanvanu che and ik bhanvanu che ene so yeaah! But ene mari jode one and half week pachi vaat kari che and shantithi vaat pan nathi karto! He does not know that it hurts me and it affects me and i cry everyday but shu thai ene khabar j nathi!

He wants me to accept the way he is but jyaare male che mane tyaare toh aavo nathi hoto it is like dating some another different person! Phone par alag che and male che tyaare alag che! Ame loko e decide karelu ke kai nai chhupadye but have toh e pan chaalu thai gayu che! Aje resume banayu main bcoz hu monday thi jaish mostly internship mate jenu ene kaij khabar nathi and hu ene padva pan nai dau! Kem toh maybe mare ene e puche nai ke mari life ma shu chale che tya sudhi kehvu pan nathi!

He is hurting me a lot and he knows it and i hope that eno score saaro avi jai gre ma bcoz it is hard for me to stay like this! Ene ek vaar pan na puchyu that how am i? Idk kem na puchyu but mane hurt thayu ema! But ene kevi ritna kai didhu that hu jai shaku chu or hu jato raish mukine phone! Bcoz e jai shake che! And ene khabar che hu bija end par hamesha hoish j! Ene prem laage che jyaare hu ene bhaav khavdavu chu but e bhai baapa che ke bhai tu boli de! And hu ene atarna call karine kaishne toh pan e ek j vastu kehshe okay!

So yeah! Ena mate hu matter nathi karti atarna and aunty jode share karyu toh mari jode kem nathi kari shakto? Evu shu kidhu uncle e? Etla badha questions che but ek no pan answer nathi malta mane from him! But that is the thing e shu karva aape answers! Right? So yeah! Let it be!

Hello everyone,

I really think i have been MIA! But, i didnt feel like writing for some reason and now today i want to! Here i am, this is my little secret which i am proud of keeping! My one little, happy secret!

So much has occurred since i last wrote here! God! I lost one of my best friend bcoz of my stupidity! He is hurt now and i guess that is all on me! Will have to take to grave too! He wont ever trust again anyone and that is on me! But, i chose my relationship with harsh! Yes that is my boyfriend’s name! You are gonna hear his name often!

The thing is i believed i had thoughts abt my friend not in a sexual way or anything! I dont even know what it is but i feel that i loved his company and the way i felt confident and could share things with him! All the masti basically and now ik what i am missing! But the thing is i made some mistakes which my best friends dont think were mistakes! It is normal for layman and i have not done anything wrong from their perspective but harsh thinks i lied to him and i had feelings for my best friend but that is wrong too! I never have loved anyone else than harsh! So idk what to explain to anyone as i am confused but for me i thought if i will stop talking to my best friend it will help! Yes, i miss our long video calls and faltu ni chats but that is the thing that i am doing this so that harsh thinks i am faithful! Or i dont have more wrongful thoughts! And ofcourse there were some ideology conflicts between me and my friend and he also invaded my privacy too! That is not acceptable! But everything aside, what is happening is wrong too! But, sometimes you gotta do wrong things so that noone it is better for everyone in the long run!

Now about harsh, he does not give me what i want! I hate his specs frame but he likes it, i have a problem with his weight too! Photos would be bad is what i think but i have become materialistic a lot nowadays! Ik that! He thinks i complain a lot and that is true too! But he does not give me what i want! So what should i do? Eni jode aajthi toh vaat karvanu mann nathi thai rahyu! Gai kale j 3 hrs maathu dukhadyu and ena pramane eno time waste thayo! Mane evu lage che that he does not prioritize me and that is bad! He is all these things which i dont want! But here i can pour my heart out as nobody knows abt this little secret of mine! He is not taking any efforts in becoming atleast somewhat slim! He is almost my daddy’s weight and how is that even okay at such a young age? Mane pehla bau matter natu kartu and have karva maandyu che maybe bcoz gharma kaku bolshe and kii bolshe and all! Photos ma ppl will judge and that is why! But i think that is too selfish so bolti nathi ene hu kai! But back of the mind chalya j kare che!

Now i was looking for canada yesterday, i dont wanna do dental hygienist, it is not good for ego but money is too much but it feels like degrading myself and doing something which i feel like will bring money and nothing more! Even part-time i dont wanna do just for money! Dentistry i dont think i am gonna do elsewhere than in India! So i have that option to do anything related to mba! Gain experience here for as many years as I can and when we settle together i can do something over there! I dont wanna marry rite now! I dont wanna leave India soon too! December sudhi idea avshe so lets see! Shu thai che? I am sleepy now! Gonna take a nap and uthine sip nu kaam karvanu che so yeah!

I feel good after writing things which i cant say to anybody!

Do you ever feel that your mind is gonna explode by all the overthinking and overanalyzing a situation which is going to occur in few days! Your body is cold, your stomach is sick and your neurons are just gonna die by all the overthinking!

That is what happens to me when i play a sport! I have been the most laziest person ever! I just love being a spectator but wont play anything! But few days back, i decided that i will play one of my most favourite sports i.e. cricket! I just love it since my childhood and now i am gonna play it with all my heart for the first time in 24 years and i am so anxious that i cannot sleep!

Sleep comes to me naturally and that is the best part of life but here i am writing this and letting you know that i dont know how to get rid of my anxiety!

Hurting is so much painful i guess! It is like your heart wont heal again but what is heart! Heart is just an organ pumping blood to the body and back and still it hurts when people disappoint you!

They say when a breakup with friend hurts more than an actual breakup! I have been experiencing that right now! A friend of mine whom i consider my best friend actually hurt me and broke me a little too! This is sad but the person does not even have a clue about it! And just because i do not want to ruin the friendship, i am just not telling the person that i am hurting!

Should it not be in our hands that how much should we hurt and how much a person should affect us be decided by us?We keep on repeating and overanalyzing things in head and being an overthinker this is just cruelty!

Brain is just a beautiful thing, it makes you feel that pain in the heart and butterflies in the stomach! But this is just bad that brain gets to do that! Why do we get affected by people when we decide to not get attached? I guess that is how life is! You just get attached to someone and then you just forget about it eventually!

I guess i will forget it too but i dont know when? Lets keep that for the next update!

So this is my first blog and i just googled what a person is called who just loves sunsets and it popped as opacarophile. This is so random but yes it is a reality escape for me. A let out of all the emotions a person can feel!

The way people disappoint you is the worst-best part ever! But i think disappointment is directly proportional to high expectations. I expect a lot with those i am too much attached and this leads to disappointment. I think people near me dont love me the way i want them to love me! You meet someone, you start loving their company, their physical existence in your life because you are so broken from inside that it just reminds you that maybe someone will heal you again! But, guess what? they are no different, they are just disappointing too! They dont revert the same way you expected them to and that is a huge disappointment!

This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.

Why do this?

• Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
• Because it will help you focus you own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.

The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

To help you get started, here are a few questions:

• Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
• What topics do you think you’ll write about?
• Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
• If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.